Colors

First Show

2009-06-10T01:01:00.000-07:00

First show.
LIFEspot. September 5th. Electronica show.

Opening for these guys:

Kill Paradise

Chain Gang of 1974

SO STOKED.

OWL CITY LIVE

2009-05-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE DAY I GET TO SEE THIS IN PERSON. Adam's been touring. And unfortunately, at places where I'm not or when I'm not there. He has yet to announce his headline tour for the fall. He BETTER come through Denver since he hasn't yet =)

P.S.- It is my dream to do this with my music someday.

Why BMW is so freakin awesome.

2009-05-01T13:14:00.000-07:00

Audi: Your movie, BMW.
BMW: CHECKMATE. BAM!

Lake Havasu: Aftermath

2009-04-07T23:47:00.000-07:00

Goodness. My oh my. Where to start?

Well, for starters, it's late, and I'm going to officially stop caring about grammar after this sentence.

we got there on a friday night, after getting lost MULTIPLE times. once the car full of guys decided to take over, we had no trouble finding it. it was an apartment complex sorta thing. more like a retirement home though. old people everywhere. some were awesome. for example, while jordan was playing his guitar, and i was playing my uke, and old man (mid-70's-ish) came out with a huge harmonica and played with us. it was so much fun. but most of them didnt like us. they thought we were there to just drink like everyone and be completely obnoxious. they must not remember what its like to be young. they made up rules, like no music whatsoever, just so they could have their control over us. but as for the lake... wow. really blue water. EXTREMELY refreshing. I got burned bad on sunday when we went on a 7 mile-ish hike. we peaked a mountain, went through a valley that turned into a mere crack, and hiked all the way to the lake, where we dipped in for a few minutes. yesterday is what i really want to get to though. we rented a pontoon boat and went out on the lake, and found an AMAZING cliff jumping site. the highest jump was extremely high, and too high for me. i went on the second to highest spot. After getting back in the boat and just driving around, i realized just how much love i have for lakes. i'm OBSESSED with water (water parks, oceans, lakes etc...) and lakes are probably my favorite. oceans can be too rough and too salty. lakes are extremely refreshing and calm. you can wakeboard and such... just have a great time. we went out to eat all dressed up to a very local italian restaurant. we asked if there were any excluded, secret beach spots. out waiter (who was extremely awesome) told us about a great spot on the island that no one knew about. we went there, cooked s'mores, and played some music. but while we were first just talking and cooking, i was amazed with God's creation. staring into the fire, then looking out at the lake that stretched out... it just felt so peaceful. then my friend played God of Wonders. and to be all honest... i didn't feel the mood for some reason. i mean, i had JUST been in awe of His creation, then we sing a song about it, and i get bored... I couldn't understand this. I guess what i probably realized, is that i don't connect to God through singing along to a worship song someone else is leading. that feels terrible to say, and inaccurate too, because there have DEFINITELY been times where i have been moved by the lyrics of a song. Then why not that night? I feel like i connect to God on a more personal level. when i'm singing with a whole audience, or even 7 other people, it's hard for me to feel the personal connection. i feel closest to God when i sing and play to him on my own. and even then, it's hard to find the right song to play. i usually just end up creating a song as i play it as a prayer. my "worship" songs are more cries for help and guidance. not so much as "you are worthy, you are worthy, all i want too see is your face, i will ever praise thee". those just seem too cheesy and cliche for me sometimes. i feel like i connect with god through my own personal life experiences... like just sitting and talking on a beach. i feel like i felt god more there than when we were all singing "early in the morning, i will celebrate the light..." is this good or bad? i think it's just my way of feeling close to him. so if i dont feel connected to God through worship music, why do i help lead it? the answer came clear and obvious when he finished playing the song. it was obvious everyone else had really gotten into it because there was complete silence for a long time after he had played the song. duh. everyone experiences God differently. For me, it's through my own song to God. But not everyone can make up songs. Sometimes i forget the power that music has on people. especially with their walk of faith. i shold have learned that by now after all the people that personally thanked me after a men's choir concert, or playing guitar up on stage. I'm not doing it for me. I'm helping those who connect with God through those songs to be connected in that way. and even more so, i'm doing it because it ultimately glorifies God. It's pleasing to him. and i want to please my Father.

Exorcism

2009-04-02T15:10:00.000-07:00

Today, in CLFM, we had a guest speaker. His name was Scott Derrickson. I was truly intrigued by his story. He has written and directed many movies in Hollywood, but today, he talked about writing and filming The Exorcism of Emily Rose. He's a devout Christian. It's really encouraging to see someone like him succeeding in the position he is in. A while ago, he struggled to see if he truly believes in the devil, and evil. He wanted to learn more. And he decided to make the movie. He knew he was getting himself into very dangerous territory. But he was truly touched by the story of the exorcism of Anneliese Michel (picture above). He said he had wept over the death of her by reading what she had gone through. The exorcism of Anneliese Michel was taped, and given to the priest who had been involved with the exorcism. The tapes were was then given to Felicitas D. Goodman, who wrote a book about it. And She had given the tapes to Scott, in order to make the movie as realistic as possible. There was a time span of two weeks that Scott read through about 2 dozen books about exorcisms, and had listened to/watched many tapes of exorcisms. He started waking up at 3 every night (Supposedly Jesus Christ was crucified at 3 pm, and 3 am is the hour in which the devil and demons mock us, and do strange things). So all the weird stuff that happened in the movie at 3 am was actually based off his own experience. When he woke up he even started hearing banging in his kitchen. On about the fourth night he woke up and was hearing the cabinets bang he thought to himself... ok... so what if a demon is really waking me up at 3? what if there really is a demon that is banging cabinets in the kitchen... so what? i've got a two year old that can do the same thing... Once he thought this, all the weird things started to go away. Demons do not have a sense of humor, and when we start mocking them, they flee. During these two weeks, he had called up my CLFM professor (Michael Bruner) to talk seriously about exorcism and evil, and whether or not he should continue making the movie. Scott had been a student in Michael Bruner's fathers class, and was greatly inspired by him. After the talk, he felt more fortified, and confident in what he was doing. He had also named the main character (Erin Bruner) after Michael and his father. Scott believes that if we truly believe in God, and our hearts are with him, no demon will posses us. But every once in a while, God will break a rule (like in Anneliese Michel's case). Annaliese Michel believed that her life purpose for God was to be a martyr, and that many people worldwide will know about her story. Scott Derrickson released the film, and realized that he had helped Annaliese's vision come true. I was greatly inspired by this story. It's so interesting. And now I want to watch the movie. I have to be careful though. As interesting as all this exorcism stuff is, I need to make sure I'm not too interested/curious in it. It's a very dangerous subject.

LAKE HAVASU

2009-03-29T17:11:00.000-07:00

Spring Break. STOKED!

HAHA!

2009-03-27T12:18:00.001-07:00

I love failblog.

Random ABC's

2009-03-22T03:25:00.000-07:00

A
- Available: Yes
- Age: 19
- Annoyance: How restless I am. ADHD.
- Animal: Arctic Foxes

B
- Birthday: Dec. 21st. First day of Winter.
- Best Friends: Got quite a few
- Body Part on opposite sex: Eyes and smile.
- Best feeling in the world: Boarding. (Snow, Wake, Long)
- Best weather: Super hot. But only if there's a pool, lake, or ocean nearby... (Preferably Torch Lake... BEAUTIFUL!)
- Been in Love: With a human being? Absolutely not. Except friendships.
- Been on stage: I've had my share =)
- Believe in Magic: Magic from God.
- Believe in Miracles: Yes
- Believe in Santa: Oh you know

C
- Cake or pie: Pie. It's more classy. =)
- Continent/Country to visit: Africa
- Cheese: Feta

D
- Day or Night: Both. I LOVE the contrast between the two. But I very much need the Day to keep me happy and alive. =)
- Dance in the rain: Nope. But I enjoy playing soccer or frisbee in it.
- Disney character: Simba.

E
- Eggs: Over medium
- Eyes: Blue
- Ever failed a class: yeah

F
- Full name: S(ummer)C(oming)OTT HOWARD MILLER
- First thoughts waking up: Brunch!
- Food: Mexican.

G
- Greatest Fear: Paper Cuts. No joke.
- Goals: Family, Job that I love, Always pursuing God and music.
- Get along with your parents: They're a few of my best friends.
- Good luck charm: Nope

H
- Hair Color: Naturally blonde, was dark brown for a while. The blonde's almost fully back.
- Height: 5'7
- Happy: Only with God
- Holiday: Christmas, Easter.
- How do you want to die: Confident.

I
- Ice Cream: Coconut fro yo.
- Instrument: Piano. It's so beautiful.

J
- Jewelry: W.W.J.D. Bracelets
- Job: Student/Composer

K
- Kids: probably 3 to 5, at least a boy and girl.
- Kickboxing or karate: karate! Ninja-style!
- Keep a journal? sorta. Just a few entries on Word.

L
- Longest Car Ride: That I can remember? San Diego to Denver.
- Love: God, Friends, Family, Music
- Letter: Z
- Laughed so hard you cried: haha yeah.

M
- Milk flavor: vanilla. It's true.
- Movies: Slumdog Millionaire, Extreme Days, A Goofy Movie, Surf's Up
- Motion sickness? Never
- McD’s or BK: McD

N
- Number of Siblings: 3 AMAZING siblings.
- Number of Piercings: Zero
- Number: 7

O
- One wish: Be more motivated

P
- Perfect Pizza: Cheese and Pineapple
- Pepsi or Coke: Coke

Q
- Quail: Never tried it

R
- Reason to cry: Sadness, Joy, Love
- Reality T.V.: Not so much.
- Radio Station: Don't really listen to it
- Roll your tongue in a circle? yup
- Ring size?: gee... 8?

S
- Song: Way too many...
- Shoe size: 8 or 9
- Salad Dressing: Red Vinegarette
- Sushi: just the california roll
- Skipped school: yeah
- Slept outside: love it
- Shower daily?: no
- Sing well?: i'm getting better.
- In the shower?: Only Disney Songs
- Strawberries/Blueberries: strawberries

T
-Time for bed: around 1, sometimes 2.
-Thunderstorms: yeah!

U
- Unpredictable: i'm not totally sure.

V
- Vacation spot: Mountains. I miss the silence up there.

W
- Weaknesses: Dimples
- Who makes you laugh the most: Oh gosh... I laugh at everything and everyone.
- Worst feeling: Finding out about dishonesty
- Want to be a model?: not really
- Worst Weather?: Bitter cold and Icy wind.

X
- X-Rays: what about them?
- Ex's: Some good, some not so good.

Y
- Year it is now: 2009
- Yellow: SUN!

Z
- Zoo animal: Arctic Fox

Would you rebuild a Buddhist mosque?

2009-03-12T14:24:00.000-07:00

In CLFM today, we had a great discussion.

The question was:

If you heard about a Buddhist mosque that was destroyed in some tragedy, would you take a missions trip down to rebuild it? Thus enabling them to keep worshiping Allah?

Think of an answer first before you hear my answer....

I usually don't get that involved in discussions. I love listening to the different sides. But I was surprised at the answers to this question. The first five people that raised their hands and spoke, said they wouldn't. Their reasons were because, we are called to love and serve God first. So if we rebuild a mosque for another God, we are breaking that commandment. One guy said "I couldn't imagine having Jesus stand by my side and watch me build a mosque for another God".

I was super surprised. When I picture that scene, I would see Jesus being disappointed in us for sitting their and doing nothing to help. I finally raised my hand. I explained that we are called to love God first and others second. We aren't at all worshiping another God by helping them rebuild a mosque. I asked that if those aren't the people we're supposed to be ministering to, then who are we supposed to be ministering to? We are called to show the love of God.

Some people complained that if we built the mosque, we'd be saying that they're god is the right one.

The teacher turned the tables. What if our chapel burned down, and some Buddhists helped us rebuild it? We wouldn't think that they're saying that our God is the right one.

By helping them rebuild their mosque, they'd see something very different and unique about us.

After we discussed, our professor explained the best answer he ever heard. One of his students said they'd rebuild that mosque and it would be the best mosque that he'd ever seen. He'd do everything he can to make that mosque even more better than the last one. So that every time they'd walk in, they'd remember what we did for them. In our professor's 10 steps of evangelism, the first step is to do what you're good at and do it good.

After explaining this he asked how many people would rebuild the mosque, and almost the entire class had raised their hand. Many had changed their mind.

Would you rebuild the mosque?

INVISIBLE CHILDREN: THE RESCUE

2009-03-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

Invisible Children has done so much. Their peace talks started looking good. Joseph Kony even agreed to sign the peace treaty. When the time came to come out of the bush and sign the papers, he never showed up. On Christmas day, 2008, His army massacred people in Congo. He abducted many children. It's still going on. WE NEED TO RESCUE the children soldiers.

To help Invisible Children out, sign up for this event. And watch the video if you have a spare 30 minutes.

Abduct yourself.

http://www.invisiblechildren.com/april2009/index.html

Help IC make a change in this world. I'm so stoked for this event.

Ultimate Frisbee.

2009-02-28T01:51:00.000-08:00

I forgot how much I loved playing it. It's been WAYYY too long.

Lent

2009-02-25T22:29:00.001-08:00

Most people love it. Some people don't like it. I've personally never done anything for it. But that changed this year.

I gave up soda. Because I've realized, I've come to depend on it a lot. I can't remember the last time I got water or iced tea at any cafeteria for lunch or dinner. I had become addicted to caffeine, and was depending on it, and didn't even know. It's only been one day and I'm getting headaches. This is so good for me.

This morning in Chapel (after I had decided to give up pop), they challenged us to try giving up something that doesn't just benefit us. Guilt trip..... sorta. I figured that pop would be way too easy. Of course I can sacrifice that. They asked what's getting in the way of our relationship with God. To be honest, It's thinking and worrying and still caring too much for my ex. And it is getting in the way with me and God. So I decided I'd try my best to give up worrying about her. And it's actually worked. Whenever the second comes that I start thinking about her, I just tell myself to stop. And surprisingly enough, it works. Now I'm not trying to forget about her completely, but I'm just not dwelling on the wrongs and how much hurt came from it. This is so good for me.

Finally, instead of giving up something, I decided to pick up something. The more I go to the prayer chapel outside my dorm, the more I love it. It's a wonderful place of solitude and silence. It's very settling and peaceful. So I decided to make a habit to go in there every day. But to be realistic, it only has to be at least 60 seconds. I did this because I know I can't spend 30 minutes in there every day, I could be in a hurry. But 60 seconds is just the right amount of time to get a prayer and some silence in. But I'll most likely want to stay for longer anyway.

Lent. Ash Wednesday. I've never really got into this season. But you can get so much out of it if you just let it.

Last Weekend

2009-02-23T22:11:00.000-08:00

Last weekend was... interesting. LOTS of stuff happened. But the most important and coolest, was sunday. I got the chance to spend almost an entire day with someone who's coming to APU next year. We watched a few movies (Including Extreme Days because she and I both LOVE the movie, and not many people know about it). But other than that, we spent a lot of time just talking.

Pause. Let me catch you up with my life. Truths that I have known as lies keep coming to me, and have thus slowed down the process of getting over certain things, and getting more and more hurt in the process. But I believe it's done now. It's been so hard. Especially with my faith. It's really hard to see where this is taking me. It's hard to see why all this happened because I don't believe that I deserved ALL of it. It's hard to see how so much hurt could possibly turn into something good. But having something like this happen, has helped me to only try and trust him more through everything. The more things that happen, the more I realize that this life can NEVER EVER be controlled by me, or anyone else who currently lives here on Earth. I'm learning to trust Him more. But like I said, it's still rough. But he's helped me through things. Especially just seeing what I need to do on a daily basis. Then I don't worry to much about the future.

Play. I was talking with this girl about, well, pretty much everything I just told you. I told her how amazing it feels to constantly be reminded that God is with me, and when I do what he wants, It pleases him. Pretty much almost everything we talked about related back to God. She's truly a unique person and I hope that this friendship will continue on, because I love having someone to talk with about God... A person that understands me, and I can relate to.

It made me realize that we can't be alone. We need relationships. MAINLY because we wouldn't learn nearly as much about God. I learned a lot from talking to her for just a few hours. We learn about God from each other. There's a little bit of God that shows through everyone. And you just have to find that bit.

Happy Valentines Day!!!

2009-02-14T11:50:00.000-08:00

It's my first Valentines Day alone since 4 years ago. TIME TO CELEBRATE FULL WALLET DAY!!! WOOHOO!!! =)

Mmmm....

2009-02-12T14:57:00.000-08:00

4 Day Weekend? I don't see why not!

Balumtine'th Day

2009-02-08T02:02:00.000-08:00

Dave Barnes. Cracks me up.

Yummm....

2009-02-03T07:21:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while, getting up really early feels really nice. And somehow, it's easier. My alarm clock went off at 5:25 and once I got up, I was much more awake than I would have been if I woke up at 10:30. Strange. Took a nice warm shower. Then I went to Denny's. It was still dark. Me and my three friends arrived at Denny's right at 6. There was a HUGE line to get in (If you didn't know... Denny's had free Grand Slam breakfasts today from 6 to 2). We waited about 15 minutes. They were seating fast. Breakfasts always taste so much better when they're free. Walked back out through the fire-hazardous crowd in the front and drove back. Mornings feel so much better like this. I love you Denny's.

CLFM

2009-01-30T00:53:00.000-08:00

IF YOU ALREADY DO, OR PLAN ON ATTENDING AZUSA PACIFIC UNIVERSITY:

Take Christian Life, Faith, and Ministries with Bruner. His teaching styles are kinda like another friend of mine... Braner. Hmmm..... Bruner and Braner. They should do something epic together. ANYWAYS... BRUNER is one incredible professor. He said that about 5 years ago, he used to teach the way every professor did... until his daughter was born. Almost immediately he realized that he's teaching the young adults that will one day educate his daughter. That is his motivation for what he does in the classroom. And it is spectacular. I'm learning Christianity in a way that is kicking my butt (in a good way). He's taking everything I've learned to this point and turning it inside out and upside down. He encourages us to think for ourselves, not to believe what he says necessarily. But he makes good points. Today, he totally blew my mind in coming to the conclusion that while we get closer to God, we become more at peace, but also have more and harder challenges. So it is possible to go through harder struggles and challenges, and be more at peace. He talks about throwing our (fishing) nets on the starboard side instead of the port side (like Jesus told the fishermen). This is pretty much what his class is like. He's teaching me things in a completely different way. I thought I knew what Christianity was all about. I know nothing. And it's good! It will give me more to learn. His biggest pet peeves (spelling?) are Christian cliches... like "I'm on fire for God" or "God First" etc... Not that they are wrong, but we like to pretend that we can figure out little things about Christianity. We are designed to want to figure everything out. But once we figure something out, it becomes a mathematical equation. We like to think we can figure it all out. It's stupid. Even the way we pray... "Oh Lord, God Almighty. You are love. You give us what we need when we ask. We praise you O Lord." Do we even know what we're saying? I know I'm a victim of this. Christianity equals struggle and challenge. Obviously... but it's so much more than we think. I've never learned about Christ like this. And it's only been the 5th actual class. He's a smart guy. The first day, he came off as SUPER intimidating. He said stuff like, "This class is only for those who are willing to work incredible hard." "You will probably fail this class if you don't work." "A lot of you are going to drop this class today". The second day, he walked in saying... "Look's like my scarecrow technique worked. 10 people dropped the class. I'm glad I have only those who are serious about their faith now." It turns out that the only thing you have to do to pass the class is read the books and do your part in a group project. I'm so glad I decided to stay another day. I am so excited to see where this goes throughout the semester. So, If ever you're going to attend APU, TAKE THIS CLASS!!!

Why I Love Fridays

2009-01-16T13:27:00.000-08:00

Why I Love Fridays:
Two Classes.
Almost the weekend.
Friday chapel because it's on West Campus and they give you donuts after.
Open Rehearsal for Man Choir (which means lots of girls. Ha!)
Calzones at The Den.
Watching The Office episode from the night before online.
No Stress.

Why I love THIS Friday:
It's 80 degrees out.
It's the first weekend of the semester.
It's a three day weekend.
Eating outside in the sun.
Eye To Eye and Stand Out blasting through the speakers while eating (Powerline songs from A Goofy Movie).

'Nuff said.

Vacation?

2009-01-13T19:23:00.000-08:00

So when I came back for my second semester, it was amazing. I stepped off the plane into 80 degree weather. My favorite. I LOVE hot weather and sunshine! I immediately started thinking to myself that it felt like I was on vacation. It does. It feels so great here. When classes started I still couldn't get my mind off the fact that it felt like vacation, which, at first, I thought wasn't good at all. But going into all my classes feeling like it's a vacation, it made me feel like I wanted to be there. I enjoyed being there. I mean after all, imagine how many kids long to be educated that don't get that privilege. Learning is a great thing, especially when it's something you enjoy, like music in my case. Vacation for me is an enjoyable time. And going into classes feeling great because the weather is fantastic, makes it feel like vacation. For pete's sake, I'm in California! I LOVE it here! It also actually helps me want to get my homework done too. Vacation? It certainly feels like it, and it's good too. Because know I'm much more motivated to work to stay here. =)

I can't stop laughing at this!!!

2009-01-05T18:22:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6eqpmTLOtI

His Child

2008-12-28T11:34:00.000-08:00

I am His child.
I just love the imagery of that.
As a child, we are pretty much hopeless in this world.
We depend on our father for everything.
He takes care of us through everything.
We know so little compared to Him.
When I'm scared, I want to run into His arms, because He'll always help me through.
When I'm excited and joyful, He'll celebrate with me.
He never gets tired of us.
I want to grab onto His ankles as He drags me across the floor.
I want Him to put me on His shoulders so I feel like I'm on top of the world.
I want Him to teach things to me like a father teaches his son.
I love Him.
I couldn't have asked for a love remotely close to His love for me.
His love is never ending.
And it gives me all the joy knowing that.
He is my Father.
I am his son.

HE

2008-12-26T23:46:00.000-08:00

He keeps order in the chaos.

He keeps peace in the busyness.

He keeps love in the hate.

He IS love.

He keeps beauty everywhere.

He IS everywhere.

He is always forgiving. Even when we don't deserve it.

He is always merciful.

He never stops giving.

He will never leave us. Even in the darkest times.

HE IS THE LIGHT. THE HOPE.

He is everything I've ever wanted. Everything I need.

He is my hope for a better life.

and I owe it all to him.

Listening to God via airplanes.

2008-12-17T00:57:00.000-08:00

So tonight I went to TNL (The Next Level Church), which has been a huge blessing to me. The sermon given was about listening to God. The speaker said that most of the time, we wait for God to tell us something at a convenient time, instead of setting aside time to listen to Him. So laying in my bed, I was contemplating what God was doing with my life. I've been having a hard time in school. I had to withdraw from one class. And I don't think I did so well in a few other ones. It didn't feel right. I just haven't been that motivated. I decided I don't set aside time to listen to Him as much as I should. So I tried what Samuel did in the Bible. I said "Your servant is listening. Lord, speak to me." Nothing. Then I realized I was listening for words. God rarely speaks to us through actual speech. So I said it again. "Your servant is listening. Lord, speak to me." I heard a plane fly by overhead. At first I really didn't think it meant anything. Come on, planes fly by ALL THE TIME... at 1:45 in the morning. I said it once again. "Your servant is listening, Speak to me Lord." Nothing happened for a little bit, then I saw a light out of the corner of my eye. It was the light from my laptop slowly fading in and out, kind of like it was calling me to use it. So I decided to use the two things I noticed. I used the computer to search about airplanes. My eye came across "How stuff works", describing how airplanes work. I clicked on it, and the first thing it showed was an illustration of an airplane (as you see below).

A: Lift
B: Thrust
C: Weight
D: Drag

It said that Lift=Weight and that Thrust=Drag. If you decrease the drag, it allows the plane to go faster. If you decrease the weight, the plane can go higher. Every plane must have the thrust (engine) and the lift (wings) in order to fly.

So when I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that I need thrust and lift in order to get anywhere in life. The lift from the wings come from God. God is the only when that can truly lift us. And the thrust, or the motor, engine, Propellor (etc...) is my motivation. So I've got God, But I just need the motivation. Great. Back where I started. I knew that I needed motivation from the beginning of the year. I went back to bed feeling let down. Then I remembered again what it had said earlier. If you reduce the weight and drag, the plane will go faster and higher. I feel like I had the motivation, or the propellor, but it just wasn't being used. So I believe that instead of focusing on trying to find motivation to get through school, I need to focus more on letting go of the drag, or the weight. That was it. This past semester has been a rough one trying to get over someone. In fact, ever since I got into girlfriends, I have been having troubles with school. No matter what I try to fix in my life, it always comes down to one conclusion. I need to let go of everything and surrender it all to God. Then He will take care of everything for me, including my motivation. My propellor. It's nice to know that now I need to focus more on surrendering everything to Him instead of trying to figure out everything on my own. Now how do I do that? How do I fully surrender? I need to forget about my past. It's all over. This is a PERFECT time for me to start over. But how exactly? I hope to find out really soon.

New Day

2008-12-12T11:56:00.000-08:00

I have recently finished finals. And I'm not able to leave till Saturday. This morning, I woke up at 7 to pack my keyboard in a car that was going back to Colorado, but wasn't taking me. After they left, I couldn't go back to sleep. Thank God. I got out of bed and grabbed my guitar. I went out to Seven Palms (A very beautiful amphitheater here at APU) and started to wrap up my new song. I wrote a new song on acoustic guitar, because I haven't in a while. It is about my ex. I know... I should be over that by now. It's been on and off. It's weird. It's titled "The Last Song I'll Write For You". And it is what it says it is. It's the last song to get the last of what I've wanted to say out there. After the second chorus, I couldn't just do a bridge and chorus again... I don't like the typical, though I usually end up doing the typical. The song is very interesting, because after the second chorus, I play a different chord progression, and sing lots of lyrics to it as I play it about ten times. Then, when I've said the last point, I play a completely different chord progression. It seems to be a new song, which couldn't have fit more perfectly. I end it very quietly. It feels like a different song compared to the start and finish, which is exactly what I wanted. In a way, I've ended one song, and I've started another with my life. This is a huge turning point for me to move on with life. And it feels absolutely outstanding. As i went to put my guitar back, I met up with a friend I've been hanging out with more recently. We ended up going to breakfast, along with two other guys who were very much fun. After the long conversation and full stomachs, we went back to play foosball. And then left to go to Amvets (Amvets Thrift Store. A very good thrift store I might add. There's one right down the street, and I haven't gone to it once yet this year). I got myself a pair of sweet 80's sunglasses. It doesn't sound like that much of an exciting day, but it just felt different. It felt so much better. But as for now, I must clean my room, maybe read some of The Shack, then hopefully get to hang out with them more =) I ABSOLUTELY LOVE meeting new people. It's amazing. Well I'm off now... HAVE A HAPPY DAY!!! =D

Ohh Holy Night FREE DOWNLOAD

2008-12-10T13:41:00.000-08:00

I made an electronica version of O Holy Night. You can download it at http://www.purevolume.com/thesummercoming. I'm already number 5 in the top 10 chart for most popular electronica download. Exciting! =D Enjoy!

Dave Barnes wishes you a Merry Christmas

2008-12-06T16:59:00.000-08:00

I love this guy. He's so hilarious. Merry Christmas!

Bored in Music Theory...

2008-12-02T14:26:00.000-08:00

Today was a slow day in room 117 of the Warren Music Center. Music Theory. We were doing stuff I already knew how to do, and after I was called to the board I had nothing else to do, so I made some videos. Here's one of them. My friend Natalie got called to the board.

I am going to miss this class. the students in it are so much fun, and the teacher is outstanding and hilarious.

I long for the day....

2008-11-30T17:17:00.000-08:00

I long for the day when I go cave exploring and come across the beautiful sight of glow worms.

Color... Like No Other. Pyramid.

2008-11-28T09:55:00.000-08:00

I like this one a LOT! The music is kinda funky though.

Color... Like No Other.

2008-11-28T09:52:00.000-08:00

I decided to put a few more of the Sony Bravia commercials up. I already put one up. I can only put one video on each post though... Enjoy =)

Winter... S.A.D.

2008-11-22T18:47:00.001-08:00

Winter. I LOVE IT! But I miss it. Colorado had the best winters in the world. I really miss the snow. Winter in California is very different. The only thing that's really getting me right now is the sun. It sets way too early. 4:45. And it's only going to get sooner up until the winter solstice (which is unfortunately my birthday). Winter is a black and white season (Which is cool, but colors are so much more important). The reason it's not good is because of my S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I get depressed because there's not as much sunlight. I'm getting better at it, but it's still there. I felt it every winter for quite a while. But the two worst winters were my sophomore and junior years of HS. I remember getting in fights with my parents. Bad fights. I hated it. I felt completely terrible and hopeless after. I promised myself never to get in such bad fights again. Just thinking about it makes me feel terrible. I would spend some nights crying. A few of those nights were uncontrollable. And so close to Christmas too. It was terrible. My senior year was very significantly better. I think part of it was because my sophomore and junior year, I had girlfriends that were manipulative and/or didn't get along with my family. I also had a girlfriend my senior year, but she wasn't manipulative, and she lived in Florida. So that was why it was much better. Again, I'm not TOO proud of my High School relationships, but I did learn a lot from them. this year is about the same as last year. The only difference is that this is my first winter since my freshmen year that I've been single. It's good for me. It's helping me deal with it myself, and become a more independent person. But it's still hard. I haven't cried at all. I don't think I will... At least not for the reason of being depressed... Maybe for just missing my family or something. I just hate nights like these... when I feel very apathetic and a little empty. I really really miss my family. I want to see them now. I can't wait for 3 and a half days.

Please pray for everyone that struggles with S.A.D.

250,000 BOUNCY BALLS

2008-11-19T19:35:00.000-08:00

Check out this video. It's an ad for the Sony Bravia. You should check out the other two they made as well. One is with paint, and the other is with claymation bunnies! =) The best part is this is all real. There are very few special affects, if any at all. You can check out the "making of" videos as well. It's all LEGIT!

Freedom

2008-11-18T10:37:00.000-08:00

Wow. What a morning. It started off by falling while jumping out of my bed and getting a coffee to keep me awake for Health Ed... Fun Class? No. After I went back to my room. Shortly after my roommate comes back and gets in bed. I remembered last week when I went out to the track and listened to my favorite band (Owl City). It felt really good. So I decided to do it again. I brought my homework, sat on the bleachers, and listened To Jason Mraz's new CD (We sing. We dance. We steal things.). Let me tell you, this CD is DEFINITELY a feel good CD. It's hard to find feel good CD's, and especially make one... unless your Jack Johnson. I STRONGLY recommend this CD. It's incredible. If you like Jimmy Needham, GET THIS CD! Just do it. After I did my homework I put on my "Chill" playlist. It consists of Jack Johnson, Matisyahu, and Sufjan Stevens type of songs. I love looking at the mountains in front of me, along with the green grass, palm trees, and blue sky. I noticed that a Running class was out on the track. They looked miserable. Who wants to run for an entire class? Then I saw a dog running with them. But the dog was ecstatic! and he never stopped running. It was the happiest dog in the world. It only had a track, but it was running like it was free and had the entire world to run. When's the last time you wanted to run as fast as you can because you felt so free? When's the last time you wanted to roll down a grassy hill and get as many grass stains as you can? When's the last time you truly let go of all your problems? As I was thinking about all this, a song came on my playlist. Wash Away by Joe Purdy. Thank God for Joe Purdy, and ESPECIALLY that song. Talk about letting everything go. If you want to feel free and let everything go, listening to that song would be a great start. Everything "washed away". I felt so free and happy. I wanted to run as fast as I could. I wanted to jump into the clouds. Suddenly everything was so joyful and humorous... like noticing how everyone picked up their pace when they ran past Bryan Clay. Every little thing made me happy and I couldn't stop smiling and laughing. If someone was sitting near me they probably would have thought there was something wrong with me. When I finally came back to my room, I noticed how dark and colorless it was. I couldn't believe I had spent so many mornings in such a dark room. I wanted to share about my experience. But I couldn't do it in my room. So I grabbed my computer and went outside at a table to start typing. It's like I'm starting to get addicted to working outside in the sun. And I LOVE IT! I am going to try my hardest to make this a habit. No. An addiction. It's a very healthy addiction. Thank God for the sun and palm trees. For moments of peace and freedom. I haven't felt this good in so long.

Relationships

2008-11-16T18:59:00.000-08:00

Relationships... yup. I almost regret putting this on my blog. But if you're having a hard time getting over someone, should you go to them? No. That's a terrible idea. So I went to my trustworthy blog! I've been a victim of High School dating. My freshmen year I was single. Then I had a girlfriend my sophomore year, a different one my junior year, and then one more that started halfway through my senior year. The most recent one ended a few weeks into College. the main reason it ended was because it can be harder for some people to be honest in a long distance relationship. And I say that in the most lovingly way possible. Why is it so hard to get over someone that you grew so close to? Each breakup got worse. But I always end up walking away learning something new and very important for relationships. But why is it so hard? Who knew one person could mean so much to you? I blame myself for the most part. The way I've been dating is not right at all. It's extremely important to put God first in a relationship. Otherwise it totally goes downhill. I learned this after my 2nd relationship. So I was sure I'd get the next one right. I would put God first. I couldn't. And I know this sounds like "duh, of course", but I knew that I wasn't right with God first. You can't go into a relationship thinking that this person will help you get closer to God. They probably will, and it's good to do that, but you can't just depend on that person to do it for you. You need to get right with God before you go into a relationship (the "duh" moment). I've been working on my relationship with God. It's been getting much better, but how do you know that God is officially first? I feel like I'm way too busy all the time. One thing that really helps me is this: I use my talents that God has given me to grow closer to him. I'll play piano or guitar, and just start singing how I feel. God has given me the gift of being able to improvise and play and sing a whole song from nothing. I am so thankful for this. I'll sing my feelings about God. Sometimes, I'll sing my prayers. I feel very peaceful after that. I know that everyone has heard this: "Don't run looking for your spouse, Run to God, and you'll find your spouse running right next to you". At a school with a lot of pretty girls, this is hard to do. I haven't fallen into hooking up or finding another relationship, but I can't lie, it's fun to think about how some relationships could work. I just need to keep my eyes on Christ. I'm sure that my way of dating will be completely changed with time, and growing closer to God.

Please pray for everyone who's going through hard relationships, and trying to figure out what to do, and what they might be doing wrong. I can relate to them. If you're one of those people, I'd love to talk. Pray that I can keep my focus on Christ more than anything. That's what I need more than anything right now. Pray for my future spouse too. Thanks! and Thanks for reading.

California Fires

2008-11-16T00:49:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know, Westmont was attacked by the Tea Fire. It was even a preview weekend for Westmont. The Tea Fire spread very quickly. An acquaintance of mine and his friends for Westmont came to visit a few weekends ago. We were all from Colorado, and we all got along very well and I made friends with them, so hearing about this was tough. I can't imagine what it would be like. One of the guys from a few weekends ago (Tyler), and Austin came to APU to chill until classes resume. They say the earliest that it'll resume is wednesday. But many are doubting that considering many professors lost their homes and are trying to find a place to keep their family. Tyler and Austin have still not gone back to their dorm yet. They had to get to the gym in a rush, and didn't have time to go back to the dorm and get anything. The crazy part is their attitude. They know that God is looking after them, and they aren't too worried at all.

The main reason I posted this is because I am asking everyone to pray. Pray for Tyler and Austin, and of course everyone else that is enrolled at Westmont. Pray especially for those who have lost everything. The professors that lost their homes need a great deal of prayer right now. Pray for all the fires in California. There have been a lot. As I got out of a movie tonight I noticed that the air looked very smoky, and smelled smoky. I found out that there's a fire 20 minutes east of APU. I'm sure God is looking after us. But pray for those that don't have a good chance with the wildfires of California.

Oh College...

2008-11-11T23:05:00.000-08:00

College. Freshmen Year. Craziness. No parents. No rules. Every teenager's dream right? Most post-high schoolers take this advantage to be a rebel. I'm proud to say I haven't fallen into temptation... At least not to drinking/drugs/girls/whatever most people fall into. For me, it's become a chance for me to open my eyes to possibilities. What's stopping me to do the things I want to do? Since our room is the most popular room on all of first and second east, I take my alone time in practice rooms so I can play piano and release my emotions. I've been thinking more about my future, especially next summer. I feel called towards many things. Unfortunately, I don't feel that Kanakuk is one of them. Kanakuk Colorado. I went every year from Diaper Deal to Super Deal. I've made outstanding relationships. Every one of my siblings went as well, and my two older siblings both worked there since they were able to. So I guess you could say people expect me to follow in their footsteps. I love following in family heirloom, but there's also a time to set yourself apart. This next summer I feel called toward something new, with new people and new places. Jamaica is a possibility. Malibu Young Life is another possibility, though if I want to do that, I better act quick. It just feels refreshing to break away from the same old. I first experienced this when I decided to go to APU. My older brother and sister both attended Point Loma. And I LOVE it, but when I visited APU, i thought to myself... 'Oh, more choices.' So that's where I'm headed next summer. Something new. As of being in California.... I already miss Colorado. Yes. California is a lot of fun, and sunnier year-round (which is good for my S.A.D.), but there's something about home, no matter where it is, that makes you feel right when you're there. I miss getting out of my tosaty red 4runner and feel the sudden chillness as i close the door. I miss seeing my breath as I unpack instruments out of my car to play a show that no one would come to in downtown Denver. I really miss staying up all night in my bed and looking out the window at the very bright and silent sky that brought little white fluffy flakes of joy to the ground (Over-dramatization). Colorado. I look at my CO flag and Ski Resort poster every single day (both gifts from my amazing sister before heading out to Cali). I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I've found that the people I can relate to the best are people from Colorado, and APU has a reputation of getting a lot of students from CO. I've made so many friends at this incredible place, but my closest ones are those from CO. Overall, I'm so grateful for this opportunity. Thanks to an incredible Men's Chorale Director, I've realized how much I take for granted. I feel ashamed that I've taken so much for granted up to this point. I am incredibly fortunate to what God has given me. I want to help people that don't have as much as I do, becuase I know they can further show me what a fortunate life I have.

That was pretty much a rambling of many things I still have to sort out in my life. Thanks for listening.