Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Goodness. My oh my. Where to start?
Well, for starters, it's late, and I'm going to officially stop caring about grammar after this sentence.
we got there on a friday night, after getting lost MULTIPLE times. once the car full of guys decided to take over, we had no trouble finding it. it was an apartment complex sorta thing. more like a retirement home though. old people everywhere. some were awesome. for example, while jordan was playing his guitar, and i was playing my uke, and old man (mid-70's-ish) came out with a huge harmonica and played with us. it was so much fun. but most of them didnt like us. they thought we were there to just drink like everyone and be completely obnoxious. they must not remember what its like to be young. they made up rules, like no music whatsoever, just so they could have their control over us. but as for the lake... wow. really blue water. EXTREMELY refreshing. I got burned bad on sunday when we went on a 7 mile-ish hike. we peaked a mountain, went through a valley that turned into a mere crack, and hiked all the way to the lake, where we dipped in for a few minutes. yesterday is what i really want to get to though. we rented a pontoon boat and went out on the lake, and found an AMAZING cliff jumping site. the highest jump was extremely high, and too high for me. i went on the second to highest spot. After getting back in the boat and just driving around, i realized just how much love i have for lakes. i'm OBSESSED with water (water parks, oceans, lakes etc...) and lakes are probably my favorite. oceans can be too rough and too salty. lakes are extremely refreshing and calm. you can wakeboard and such... just have a great time. we went out to eat all dressed up to a very local italian restaurant. we asked if there were any excluded, secret beach spots. out waiter (who was extremely awesome) told us about a great spot on the island that no one knew about. we went there, cooked s'mores, and played some music. but while we were first just talking and cooking, i was amazed with God's creation. staring into the fire, then looking out at the lake that stretched out... it just felt so peaceful. then my friend played God of Wonders. and to be all honest... i didn't feel the mood for some reason. i mean, i had JUST been in awe of His creation, then we sing a song about it, and i get bored... I couldn't understand this. I guess what i probably realized, is that i don't connect to God through singing along to a worship song someone else is leading. that feels terrible to say, and inaccurate too, because there have DEFINITELY been times where i have been moved by the lyrics of a song. Then why not that night? I feel like i connect to God on a more personal level. when i'm singing with a whole audience, or even 7 other people, it's hard for me to feel the personal connection. i feel closest to God when i sing and play to him on my own. and even then, it's hard to find the right song to play. i usually just end up creating a song as i play it as a prayer. my "worship" songs are more cries for help and guidance. not so much as "you are worthy, you are worthy, all i want too see is your face, i will ever praise thee". those just seem too cheesy and cliche for me sometimes. i feel like i connect with god through my own personal life experiences... like just sitting and talking on a beach. i feel like i felt god more there than when we were all singing "early in the morning, i will celebrate the light..." is this good or bad? i think it's just my way of feeling close to him. so if i dont feel connected to God through worship music, why do i help lead it? the answer came clear and obvious when he finished playing the song. it was obvious everyone else had really gotten into it because there was complete silence for a long time after he had played the song. duh. everyone experiences God differently. For me, it's through my own song to God. But not everyone can make up songs. Sometimes i forget the power that music has on people. especially with their walk of faith. i shold have learned that by now after all the people that personally thanked me after a men's choir concert, or playing guitar up on stage. I'm not doing it for me. I'm helping those who connect with God through those songs to be connected in that way. and even more so, i'm doing it because it ultimately glorifies God. It's pleasing to him. and i want to please my Father.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Today, in CLFM, we had a guest speaker. His name was Scott Derrickson. I was truly intrigued by his story. He has written and directed many movies in Hollywood, but today, he talked about writing and filming The Exorcism of Emily Rose. He's a devout Christian. It's really encouraging to see someone like him succeeding in the position he is in. A while ago, he struggled to see if he truly believes in the devil, and evil. He wanted to learn more. And he decided to make the movie. He knew he was getting himself into very dangerous territory. But he was truly touched by the story of the exorcism of Anneliese Michel (picture above). He said he had wept over the death of her by reading what she had gone through. The exorcism of Anneliese Michel was taped, and given to the priest who had been involved with the exorcism. The tapes were was then given to Felicitas D. Goodman, who wrote a book about it. And She had given the tapes to Scott, in order to make the movie as realistic as possible. There was a time span of two weeks that Scott read through about 2 dozen books about exorcisms, and had listened to/watched many tapes of exorcisms. He started waking up at 3 every night (Supposedly Jesus Christ was crucified at 3 pm, and 3 am is the hour in which the devil and demons mock us, and do strange things). So all the weird stuff that happened in the movie at 3 am was actually based off his own experience. When he woke up he even started hearing banging in his kitchen. On about the fourth night he woke up and was hearing the cabinets bang he thought to himself... ok... so what if a demon is really waking me up at 3? what if there really is a demon that is banging cabinets in the kitchen... so what? i've got a two year old that can do the same thing... Once he thought this, all the weird things started to go away. Demons do not have a sense of humor, and when we start mocking them, they flee. During these two weeks, he had called up my CLFM professor (Michael Bruner) to talk seriously about exorcism and evil, and whether or not he should continue making the movie. Scott had been a student in Michael Bruner's fathers class, and was greatly inspired by him. After the talk, he felt more fortified, and confident in what he was doing. He had also named the main character (Erin Bruner) after Michael and his father. Scott believes that if we truly believe in God, and our hearts are with him, no demon will posses us. But every once in a while, God will break a rule (like in Anneliese Michel's case). Annaliese Michel believed that her life purpose for God was to be a martyr, and that many people worldwide will know about her story. Scott Derrickson released the film, and realized that he had helped Annaliese's vision come true. I was greatly inspired by this story. It's so interesting. And now I want to watch the movie. I have to be careful though. As interesting as all this exorcism stuff is, I need to make sure I'm not too interested/curious in it. It's a very dangerous subject.