Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Lake Havasu: Aftermath

Goodness. My oh my. Where to start?

Well, for starters, it's late, and I'm going to officially stop caring about grammar after this sentence.

we got there on a friday night, after getting lost MULTIPLE times. once the car full of guys decided to take over, we had no trouble finding it. it was an apartment complex sorta thing. more like a retirement home though. old people everywhere. some were awesome. for example, while jordan was playing his guitar, and i was playing my uke, and old man (mid-70's-ish) came out with a huge harmonica and played with us. it was so much fun. but most of them didnt like us. they thought we were there to just drink like everyone and be completely obnoxious. they must not remember what its like to be young. they made up rules, like no music whatsoever, just so they could have their control over us. but as for the lake... wow. really blue water. EXTREMELY refreshing. I got burned bad on sunday when we went on a 7 mile-ish hike. we peaked a mountain, went through a valley that turned into a mere crack, and hiked all the way to the lake, where we dipped in for a few minutes. yesterday is what i really want to get to though. we rented a pontoon boat and went out on the lake, and found an AMAZING cliff jumping site. the highest jump was extremely high, and too high for me. i went on the second to highest spot. After getting back in the boat and just driving around, i realized just how much love i have for lakes. i'm OBSESSED with water (water parks, oceans, lakes etc...) and lakes are probably my favorite. oceans can be too rough and too salty. lakes are extremely refreshing and calm. you can wakeboard and such... just have a great time. we went out to eat all dressed up to a very local italian restaurant. we asked if there were any excluded, secret beach spots. out waiter (who was extremely awesome) told us about a great spot on the island that no one knew about. we went there, cooked s'mores, and played some music. but while we were first just talking and cooking, i was amazed with God's creation. staring into the fire, then looking out at the lake that stretched out... it just felt so peaceful. then my friend played God of Wonders. and to be all honest... i didn't feel the mood for some reason. i mean, i had JUST been in awe of His creation, then we sing a song about it, and i get bored... I couldn't understand this. I guess what i probably realized, is that i don't connect to God through singing along to a worship song someone else is leading. that feels terrible to say, and inaccurate too, because there have DEFINITELY been times where i have been moved by the lyrics of a song. Then why not that night? I feel like i connect to God on a more personal level. when i'm singing with a whole audience, or even 7 other people, it's hard for me to feel the personal connection. i feel closest to God when i sing and play to him on my own. and even then, it's hard to find the right song to play. i usually just end up creating a song as i play it as a prayer. my "worship" songs are more cries for help and guidance. not so much as "you are worthy, you are worthy, all i want too see is your face, i will ever praise thee". those just seem too cheesy and cliche for me sometimes. i feel like i connect with god through my own personal life experiences... like just sitting and talking on a beach. i feel like i felt god more there than when we were all singing "early in the morning, i will celebrate the light..." is this good or bad? i think it's just my way of feeling close to him. so if i dont feel connected to God through worship music, why do i help lead it? the answer came clear and obvious when he finished playing the song. it was obvious everyone else had really gotten into it because there was complete silence for a long time after he had played the song. duh. everyone experiences God differently. For me, it's through my own song to God. But not everyone can make up songs. Sometimes i forget the power that music has on people. especially with their walk of faith. i shold have learned that by now after all the people that personally thanked me after a men's choir concert, or playing guitar up on stage. I'm not doing it for me. I'm helping those who connect with God through those songs to be connected in that way. and even more so, i'm doing it because it ultimately glorifies God. It's pleasing to him. and i want to please my Father.

1 comment:

Regan said...

Scott-I really enjoyed reading this post. I was actually just talking with my parents about how different people connect with/find joy in different types of ministry. It's great that you connect with God through your own creation of music. In addition, if you think about it, if everyone only connected to God when they played their own music, there would be no need for worship leaders. Each of us experiences God in different ways, which makes up the body of Christ because all of these differences work together for His glory. It's great that you're stepping up and doing your part by composing and playing for others and yourself to experience God =]