Winter... S.A.D.

Winter. I LOVE IT! But I miss it. Colorado had the best winters in the world. I really miss the snow. Winter in California is very different. The only thing that's really getting me right now is the sun. It sets way too early. 4:45. And it's only going to get sooner up until the winter solstice (which is unfortunately my birthday). Winter is a black and white season (Which is cool, but colors are so much more important). The reason it's not good is because of my S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I get depressed because there's not as much sunlight. I'm getting better at it, but it's still there. I felt it every winter for quite a while. But the two worst winters were my sophomore and junior years of HS. I remember getting in fights with my parents. Bad fights. I hated it. I felt completely terrible and hopeless after. I promised myself never to get in such bad fights again. Just thinking about it makes me feel terrible. I would spend some nights crying. A few of those nights were uncontrollable. And so close to Christmas too. It was terrible. My senior year was very significantly better. I think part of it was because my sophomore and junior year, I had girlfriends that were manipulative and/or didn't get along with my family. I also had a girlfriend my senior year, but she wasn't manipulative, and she lived in Florida. So that was why it was much better. Again, I'm not TOO proud of my High School relationships, but I did learn a lot from them. this year is about the same as last year. The only difference is that this is my first winter since my freshmen year that I've been single. It's good for me. It's helping me deal with it myself, and become a more independent person. But it's still hard. I haven't cried at all. I don't think I will... At least not for the reason of being depressed... Maybe for just missing my family or something. I just hate nights like these... when I feel very apathetic and a little empty. I really really miss my family. I want to see them now. I can't wait for 3 and a half days.

Please pray for everyone that struggles with S.A.D.